My name is Rolo and I am no ordinary retriever.

I retrieve, yes, but seeing as I suffer from SDS (Selective Deafness Syndrome), I only bring back what I want when I want. And even then there's no guarantee I'll hand it over willingly, if at all.

Yet I have an intelligence of Einstein-esque proportions. I can tiptoe over the cattle grids out walking, like those oh-so-clever Collies; open latches (and I know which side of the door means a downward nose movement or an upward one) and knock on my neighbour's door so I can sneak in and eat their cat's food.

In fact, if I'd paid more attention at school,

I could have grown up to be a professional gundog or even a high-flying guide dog. Alas, it was not to be and I am just a common or garden pet.

My favourite pastime in the whole world is sleeping, which is just a nano-step away from eating cheese.

And although I like my walks, I'm limited

to less than three miles a day because

I've got a touch of arthritis in my back. Nothing that Cartrophen doesn't fix,

though (drugs are wonderful).

And you'll see from my weekly blog, that

I quite like writing and have managed to work out how to use the web to my best advantage. You could say that I am a

fully-fledged canine silver surfer.

Happy birthday to me